


Turn Up the Crazy

by ImaKaraTabiHe



Category: Deadpool (2016), Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Based On A Panic! At The Disco Song, Blood, Crazy, Dark Humor, Humor, Insanity, Singing, Songfic, Tacos, no idea why I did this, sorry if it's not too great
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 17:20:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7649692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaKaraTabiHe/pseuds/ImaKaraTabiHe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few scenes from Deadpool's life.  And of course White and Yellow are there too.</p><p>Sorry Fury!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turn Up the Crazy

_Tonight we are victorious_   
_Champagne pouring over us_   
_All my friends were glorious_   
_Tonight we are victorious_   
_Oh-oh-oh-oh, victorious_   
_Oh-oh-oh-oh_

{Awe, come on~~~}

[No.]

“Why not?” Deadpool whined.

[You really need that answered for you?]

{Come on White~~ It'll be fun.}

“Yeah, White. Even Yellow's okay with it!”

[Yellow's okay with anything.]

{True story.}

“Please~” Deadpool did the puppy eyes.

[...Fine. But if we look like idiots, it's your face.]

Deadpool shrugged. “Nothing new.”

{Whew-hu!}

_Double bubble disco queen headed to the guillotine_   
_Skin as cool as Steve McQueen, let me be your killer king_   
_It hurts until it stops, we will love until it's not_   
_I'm a killing spree in white, eyes like broken Christmas lights_

[Disco queen..?]

“Oh! Oh! That's me!” Deadpool swung his hips, pulling a blanket around his middle in a makeshift dress.

{Pft. Dude. You can either be the queen or you can be Steve McQueen!}

[Gender-wise, I think it speaks for itself.]

Deadpool pouts, “But I wanna be a queen. Plus!” He grins, “Even if I head to the guillotine I can't die!”

{The headless queen!} Yellow squealed.

White sighed, [I give up.]

“At least, we're definitely the killing spree with 'eyes like broken Christmas lights'.”

[..Whatever.]

_My touch is black and poisonous_   
_And nothing like my punch-drunk kiss_   
_I know you need it, do you feel it?_   
_Drink the water, drink the wine_

{“My touch is black and poison~ous~!”} Yellow sang.

[You can't actually touch anything. You know that, right Yellow?]

{Pft. Can too~ “And nothing like my punch-drunk kiss, I know you need it, do you feel it?”}

[Ow! Motherfucker! Did you just punch me?] White questioned, sounding stunned.

{“Drink the water, drink the wine~~”}

Deadpool rolled his eyes. “Kids.”

 

_Oh we gotta turn up the crazy_   
_Livin' like a washed up celebrity_   
_Shooting fireworks like it's the fourth of July_   
_Until we feel alright_   
_Until we feel alright_

{“Turn up the crazy”? Man, we a _re_ the crazy!}

[True. Right, Pool? ...Pool?]

{YO NUTCASE!}

Deadpool looked up from his laptop, several columns with articles about Deadpool and his “fame” pulled up. “Hm?”

[Well, that answers that.]

{It's time for fireworks! Get up! Go! Move, move, move!} Yellow yelled.

Deadpool flinched and covered his ears. “Now? But I want tacos!”

{..Tacos?}

[That's what he said. Can't do both. Fireworks or tacos?]

{Pft.. Easy question.. HOW MANY TACOS!?}

Grinning, “'Until we feel alright!'”

_I'm like a scarf trick, it's all up the sleeve_   
_I taste like magic, waves that swallow quick and deep_   
_Throw the bait, catch the shark, bleed the water red_   
_Fifty words for murder and I'm every one of them_

Deadpool looked at his arms with a raised eyebrow. “Nothing up _my_ sleeves.”

[And you definitely don't taste like magic.]

{No, but I bet you we could find some _one_ that tastes like magic.} Yellow waggles his imaginary eyebrows.

[We've caught a shark, haven't we?]

“Actually, we've got like a shit ton of sharks. Even the two-legged kind!” Deadpool added with a grin as he clapped his hands together before singing, _“Fifty words for murderrrrr and I'm every one of them!”_

{Mercenary. Killer. Un-aliver. Deadpool. Wade. White. Yellow--}

White groaned.

_My touch is black and poisonous_   
_And nothing like my punch-drunk kiss_   
_I know you need it, do you feel it?_   
_Drink the water, drink the wine_

“ _My touch is black and poisonous~”_ Deadpool pulled the shirt collar of some fucked up CEO closer to him.

{“And nothing like my punch-drunk kiss! I know you need it, do you feel it?”}

The CEO gasped in pain as Deadpool's fist connected with his face, bones cracking on impact.

[I think he felt it.] White chimed in.

“Drink the water, drink the wine~” Deadpool dragged him over to the edge of the pool and shoved his face into the chlorinated water, holding him there until the CEO stopped kicking.

[..I'm pretty sure that did _not_ taste like water  or wine.]

{Oooh…. Whoopsies~! Oh well! Onward march!} Yellow commands cheerfully.

_Oh we gotta turn up the crazy_   
_Livin' like a washed up celebrity_   
_Shooting fireworks like it's the fourth of July_

{Whoooo-hooooooo! Light 'em up!}

[Pretty nice display.]

“I know, right!? It's like the --”

{“Shooting fireworks like it's the fourth of July~~~”} Yellow scream/sings.

“I was talking!” Deadpool whines.

[Like that ever stops him?] White questions.

{Right?}

Deadpool grumbles as the bad guy's home base blows sky high.

_Tonight we are victorious_   
_Champagne pouring over us_   
_All my friends were glorious_   
_Tonight we are victorious_   
_Tonight we are victorious_   
_Champagne pouring over us_   
_All my friends were glorious_   
_Tonight we are victorious_

“What the fucking biscuit eater!? Do you know how much of a pain in the ass this is going to be to fix?” Deadpool whines as he fingers a hole in his suit from a bullet.

[You're the one who didn't dodge in time.] White scolds.

{Hey! We didn't shoot ourselves~!} Yellow protests.

[Not 'this time', you mean.]

Deadpool waves White's implications away. “Next time I meet that pirate, I'm going to steal his eye-patch and leave him a big pink, sparkly bandaid to use instead.”

[..Do it.]

{Do it~ Do it~} Yellow cheered.

Deadpool leaned to the side and shook a bullet from his suit that had gotten stuck there? Whatever. He kicked it absently, ignoring the SHIELD base behind him blazing with fire.

Stomach growling, he contemplated, “Tacos or tacos?”

[It's late.]

{Pft. But it's _tacos._ Can you seriously deny us tacos, White?} Yellow whined.

[Well…] White sounded like he was thinking. [Guess not.]

Deadpool and Yellow cheered. “Let's go to that place on Third. Best fucking tacos this side of the border.”

_Oh we gotta turn up the crazy_   
_Livin' like a washed up celebrity_   
_Shooting fireworks like it's the fourth of July_   
_Until we feel alright_   
_Until we feel alright_

“Hey, hey!” Deadpool slammed a guy down in a chair, pleased at the way the man flinched. “I didn't say you could move.”

[Doesn't he know who we are?] White questioned his sanity.

{Oohhh~ Show him~ Tell him~ T- Is that a sparkly?} Yellow awed.

Deadpool eyed the man's diamond studded watch. “Yes, it's pretty sparkly.”

{Gimmie! I want it! I want it!} Yellow pouted.

[Oh my god. Just take the damn thing so Yellow'll shut up.]

“The fuck is wrong with you asshole!” The man growled.

Deadpool raised an eyebrow. “You know that's a long story. Anywho~ Your sparkly – hand it over.” He held his hand out, gesturing.

“Fuck you!”

[..That's not very nice.] White noted.

{SPARKLY!!!!!}

“Fucking _shit!_ Yellow you don't have to scream in my head!” Deadpool scowled as he pulled out a knife.

{Yes, I do.}

“Okay, buddy. Hand over the sparkly and I'll kill you nice and painlessly. How about that?” Deadpool offered.

[Seriously? Why are you being so nice?] White asked.

“I don't think I can handle Yellow's screeching for much longer.” Deadpool grunted.

{SPARKLY~ SPARKLES~ SPARKLY FARTLY! GIMMIE SPARKLES!} Yellow screamed.

[..Do it.]

“Go fuck yourself,” the man snapped.

“Oh man. Ru~de,” Deadpool sang, ignoring Yellow's demanding. “You don't get a choice. You see, I'm Deadpool, 'merc with a mouth, unaliver extraordinaire,” he grinned with a dangerous air about him.

The man's eyes widened and his breath stuttered. “Ohhh~ You've heard of me. Good. Now. Sparkly. Hand it over. Yellow's screaming is giving me 'n White a headache.”

“You're crazy,” the man muttered as he unlatched the watch with trembling fingers.

“Well.. I'd deny that, but it's totally true,” Deadpool snatched the watch from his outstretched hands. “Happy, Yellow?”

{Yesssssssssss~} Yellow crooned.

[Thank fuck.]

“So..” Deadpool looked up. The man was pale and shaking but had a small glimmer of hope in his eyes. “You're going to let me go, right? You got what you wanted,” he breathed out.

Deadpool raised an eyebrow and laughed. “Dude, I like you. You're so.. I dunno. Pikapika or some shit.”

The man laughed shakily.

“But yeah. No. Sorry Pikapika man. No can do,” Deadpool smiled evilly. “Sparkly was just to shut Yellow up. Me? I want my money and I don't get my money until you're dead.”

The man swallowed, eyes wide and fearful.

“Sorry, pal.”

{Bai bai, Pikapika~}

Screaming in fear and trying to scramble away, Deadpool slid the knife's edge along the man's throat, cutting an artery. He choked, gasping and pressing on the sliced area, gushing blood before he fell to the ground.

“Awe~ My suit's all dirty now,” Deadpool complained.

[At least Yellow's shut up.] Deadpool agreed with White.

{ _Sparklyyyy…_ }Yellow awed.

_Tonight we are victorious_   
_Champagne pouring over us_   
_All my friends were glorious_   
_Tonight we are victorious_

Deadpool yawned as he plopped down on his ratty couch and turned on the TV with a bottle of some fancy wine he'd stolen in one hand.

{Go back!} Yellow demanded as Deadpool flipped through the channels.

“What? Why? What'd I miss?”

[Besides a shower?]

{ _A Knight's Tale_ is playing!}

Deadpool flipped back to the channel with _A Knight's Tale_ playing. He felt White roll his “eyes”.

His phone played _Victorious_ by Panic! At the Disco. “Yello~” he answered with the phone up to his spandex covered ear.

{Yes?}

'Not you,' Deadpool mentally replied.

“FUCKING HELL! DID YOU _HAVE_ TO BURN DOWN THAT BASE!?” Fury yelled.

Yellow screeched at the yelling and demanded Deadpool turn down Fury's voice.

[Illogical.]

“Geez, one-eye. Don't get your Kevlar whitey tighties in a twist,” Deadpool hummed. “It was too boring. Next time you take me to a secret hideout, make sure it has some laser tag or something.”

Fury yelled more at him about 'rules' and 'regulations' and then he threatened him, which Deadpool ignored.

[Hey. The jousting's about to start.] White informed him.

“Oooh~ Jousting! Sorry, patches! Gotta go! Jousting's about to start,” he spoke eagerly into the phone before his voice deadpanned, serious. “Also, if you or any of your agents _ever_ have the stupid notion that I can be restrained and trained, remember. _I am always victorious when I want to be.”_

“Toodles!” He hung up the phone and threw it back, letting it shatter against the wall.

[I'm going to remind you that that was the last burner we had.]

{SSSHHHH!!!!!}

[After this movie.]

Deadpool nodded, tipping the bottle of fancy pants wine and drinking it as he watched the jousting begin.

 

[..We forgot tacos.]

“{ _Shit._ }”

**Author's Note:**

> So.. This song is based off of "Victorious" by Panic! At the Disco.  
> I was listening to it and it seemed a bit off the wall, but there were some places that I was like "Omg that's Deadpool right there" or "That's crazy!" so.. yeah. That's how this came about.  
> Also: pikapika - is Japanese for sparkly or shiny.
> 
> This is my first time writing Deadpool on his own (except I guess he's got company in his head), so I'm not too sure about it.  
> Anywho.
> 
> I hope your Monday is great (or ends fast if it's not). Maybe some Deadpool cheered you up a little?  
> Comment and let me know what you thought of it if you can.


End file.
